Monday, May 3, 2010

I just learned of a new day...

There's a day on our calendar that I've never heard of before. My guess is that most of us never have. It's Birthmother's Day, which falls on the Saturday before Mother's Day. I just heard about it from my friend who is adopting as well. (Tiff, your pic was so cute, I had to steal it!) Then I learned on the internet that Birthmother's Day is a day that was created by a group of birthmothers in Seattle in 1990.

As Felipe and I walk forward, we are learning that we (and many other people) have had many misconceptions about birthmothers. And I have to say that as we first stepped into domestic adoption, "open adoption" was the thing that scared us the most. However, as we learn more and now as we are in relationship with an actual woman who is carrying a baby that we may parent... things have changed.

Here are the misconceptions we've come across and had to deal with in our own hearts: #1-She doesn't love her baby. She must not care b/c she's giving it away. #2: I think for most of us it's easy to vilify her and put her in the "bad person" category in our minds. She wouldn't be a good parent anyway.

How wrong we've all been. In actuality, I've now come to see our birth mom as one of the bravest women on the planet. We've now written a couple of letters and the thing that shines through the most in her writing is how much she loves this baby... And what a beautiful person she is. I won't list specifics in how I see this, so you'll just have to take my word for it. She's beautiful... and I've never seen what she looks like :) I see how she is trying to do the best thing she can for her child... to give them a hope and a future. I see the heart of God in her. She is sacrificing herself for her child.

So, this coming Saturday, my glass will be raised to birthmothers across the globe and to a particular one that I've come to love deeply. It's amazing how I see my heart being knitted together with this special woman. I think it's the beginning of something so amazing, so mysterious. I think I'm learning Love on a new level. Isn't that what parenthood does?

Bless you friends who have given to our fund and who have prayed us into this place! Please forgive us for not responding immediately and individually to each one of you. We will. We are "nesting" and "adopting" both of which require lots of work. Our home is currently in disarray as every room has been rearranged in order to make a guest room a baby's room. The baby is due 4 weeks from tomorrow! We are currently at 82% of our goal! Only $2,186 to go!!! I'll write more soon about all the miracles we've seen along the way! We feel so much love in our hearts!



Corina said...

Birthmother's day, I love it! I'm so glad you get to see all those things through the letters of the birth mom. I'm glad to see you've almost reached your goal...I'm praying you'll have it all by May 15th. :-)

TnT said...

Hey Leigh, I stole the pic from another blog, (google Shockley blog), she took it from the etsy shop "the r house" (where you can buy that onesie). That baby is a-dor-a-ble!! The Shockley blog has all kinds of great ideas for honoring birthmoms. The birthmoms who spoke at our meeting Saturday said their favorite gifts were framed pictures, artwork from kids, letters from kids as they learn to write, etc. Trey's distant cousin who I've never met, emailed me and told me they bought her birthmom pearls for placement day (it was a baby girl). They gave them to her and told her she could give them to her daughter later on some momentous occassion (16th b-day, graduation, whatever). I thought that was a sweet idea for a girl. Do you know what y'all are having????

Christine said...

82%!!! I'm praying for that thermometer to keep on rising!