Sunday, April 5, 2009

lady in waiting...

The two procedures went very well. The doctor did an ultrasound yesterday and said that the 3 eggs from the right side (the ones we were counting on) have all released. Yay! However, there are 2-3 from the left side that did not release (as of yesterday at 11am). And they've grown causing me a considerable amount of pain. I kept praying for them to release just so that they don't become cysts :( This morning, the pain has lessened considerably, so hopefully they are outta there! It's of course not natural for the body to produce 7 mature eggs in one month... I mean, that's a whole litter! But that's what these meds do, right?.

A little reflection on our journey into the world of infertility treatments:
Four years ago when I stepped into this journey, I never guessed that one day I'd be where I am now. And two years ago, when we got married and started trying to conceive, I had many strong opinions about what to do and how people should treat infertility. Honestly, I judged others who were walking through it and were making decisions I thought to be "faithless" or "unethical" and a little "sci-fi." Sometimes, just like with the treatments of other diseases these procedures still feel "sci-fi." It's just not supposed to be like this. Conception is supposed to be intimate, private, certainly without doctors!

Many people have asked us questions about our decisions. And many others have them, but haven't asked. I certainly don't expect everyone to completely agree with us or understand fully. I still question in my own heart some of the decisions others make in their own walk to parenthood. Though, I no longer have strong opinions. I don't know the answers anymore. We do our best to listen to God. And follow Him without doubt, without hesitation.

The longer I walk through this, I realize how unnatural it is for a woman not to be able to conceive. And how evil it is to have a disease in the place where Eve brings forth life. It is natural to fight to destroy the disease. To fight for our hearts to be free. And to fight for our children, whether they be our own biological ones or not.

On facebook, I did the "#25 things." Here are 2 random facts I wrote about this:

12. I know more than I ever thought I would about reproduction and women's health. I'm certainly not a professional on the subject nor do I consider myself a guru, but more friends call me to ask questions about this subject! In the last few years, I've visited at least 6 different doctor types about my own fertility (including a nurse specialist in Omaha, a wholistic/chiropractor, and an acupuncturist), been poked and prodded for tests far more than I would have liked, had 3 surgeries, been to the gyno with 4 other friends about their own stuff, read a couple of books, tried weird diets, been to 2 different Natural Family Planning classes (I have my own consultant), been a birthing coach and saw my beautiful nephew and neice being born, seriously considered becoming a doula or a midwife, and passed out books to my college students about why the pill sucks and why you should think so too! I'm sure there's more.

17. I regularly research adoption on the internet. This is also one of my great desires. Did you know that you can adopt other people's frozen embryos! In TX right now there are 391 children (many sibling groups, older children and special needs kiddos) free for adoption and hundreds more are in the system... getting ready to be adoptable. I'm so far unclear as to whether Americans can adopt Turkish infants, but I'll find out. I'm currently researching adoption of African American children here in TX. And I know someone who can help you go through an adoption in Brazil!

I thought I'd share some of that for those who wonder.
We know for some it's difficult to process. It is for us too.

Yet, today, we are waiting, hoping for our little warriors to find their home in my womb! May they find life and safely snuggle in!

Thank you for hoping with us!!


larkin said...

Leigh Leigh, WE ARE FREE IN CHRIST!! YEE HAW!!! Let peace and HOPE be your guide. I too have similar things in my life where I have judged others for decisions they were making that I am NOW walking through---wow--the compassion I have now is sooo much greater than it was then....But, regardless---we are FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Yippeee!! Love you guys and praying for your little warrior children this morning.

allygirl said...

so proud of you guys! know that i am praying for you and a little baby adam! love to yous!

allygirl said...

so proud of you guys! i am praying for you and a baby adam! love to yous!