This morning Felipe gave me the first of many to come injections! It's strange to be excited about that fact :) But I am. It means that we are getting started with the IVF process and in a matter of weeks, we could be pregnant. I got an ultrasound yesterday and that dumb cyst is still there. But the doctor thinks it won't cause any more problems. Let's all hope and pray for that to be the case.
So, I will get these injections for the next week or so, then as long as all is going well, I will begin getting a second injection starting next Friday. Then we'll be able to see the eggs growing. Smile.
Several people have asked me how I'm feeling about the process. You know, it's kind of hard to say, but I'll try. I feel hopeful, and a little anxious about the process. I feel sober that I don't know what will happen. And I feel peaceful about that fact. Today, anyways. I know that we could get pregnant through IVF and we might not. I think I may have written before that in the last few months, there has been some kind of surrendering process in my heart and soul. I no longer shake my fist at God and say "You better do this or else!" I'm barely beginning to trust him ever so slightly more and say, "I know you love me and I know you have good things for me." Without having my own plan for what the "good things" are. It sounds so simple in words on the computer. But it feels very powerful in my heart and mind... deep in my gut. Learning to sit in the mysteries and trusting. Jesus is King and yet Another rules in this world today.
Only for now.
Come Lord Jesus!
Here's what's on my mind today:
Proverbs 30: 15-16
Three things are never satisfied;
four never say, "Enough":
Sheol, the barren womb,
the land never satisfied with water,
and the fire that never says, "Enough."
Isaiah 54 (an excerpt from The Message)
"Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby.
Fill the air with song, you who've never experienced childbirth!
You're ending up with far more children
than all those childbearing women." God says so!
"Clear lots of ground for your tents!
Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big!
Use plenty of rope,
drive the tent pegs deep.
You're going to need lots of elbow room
for your growing family.
You're going to take over whole nations;
you're going to resettle abandoned cities.
Don't be afraid—you're not going to be embarrassed.
Don't hold back—you're not going to come up short.
You'll forget all about the humiliations of your youth,
and the indignities of being a widow will fade from memory.
For your Maker is your bridegroom,
his name, God-of-the-Angel-Armies!
Your Redeemer is The Holy of Israel,
known as God of the whole earth.
BTW: in case you didn't see the previous post, in it I included some specific prayer requests for all you prayer peeps. Thank you so much.