getting started!!!

This morning Felipe gave me the first of many to come injections! It's strange to be excited about that fact :) But I am. It means that we are getting started with the IVF process and in a matter of weeks, we could be pregnant. I got an ultrasound yesterday and that dumb cyst is still there. But the doctor thinks it won't cause any more problems. Let's all hope and pray for that to be the case.

So, I will get these injections for the next week or so, then as long as all is going well, I will begin getting a second injection starting next Friday. Then we'll be able to see the eggs growing. Smile.

Several people have asked me how I'm feeling about the process. You know, it's kind of hard to say, but I'll try. I feel hopeful, and a little anxious about the process. I feel sober that I don't know what will happen. And I feel peaceful about that fact. Today, anyways. I know that we could get pregnant through IVF and we might not. I think I may have written before that in the last few months, there has been some kind of surrendering process in my heart and soul. I no longer shake my fist at God and say "You better do this or else!" I'm barely beginning to trust him ever so slightly more and say, "I know you love me and I know you have good things for me." Without having my own plan for what the "good things" are. It sounds so simple in words on the computer. But it feels very powerful in my heart and mind... deep in my gut. Learning to sit in the mysteries and trusting. Jesus is King and yet Another rules in this world today.
Only for now.
Come Lord Jesus!

Here's what's on my mind today:

Proverbs 30: 15-16
Three things are never satisfied;
four never say, "Enough":
Sheol, the barren womb,
the land never satisfied with water,
and the fire that never says, "Enough."

Isaiah 54 (an excerpt from The Message)
"Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby.
Fill the air with song, you who've never experienced childbirth!
You're ending up with far more children
than all those childbearing women." God says so!
"Clear lots of ground for your tents!
Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big!
Use plenty of rope,
drive the tent pegs deep.
You're going to need lots of elbow room
for your growing family.
You're going to take over whole nations;
you're going to resettle abandoned cities.
Don't be afraid—you're not going to be embarrassed.
Don't hold back—you're not going to come up short.
You'll forget all about the humiliations of your youth,
and the indignities of being a widow will fade from memory.
For your Maker is your bridegroom,
his name, God-of-the-Angel-Armies!
Your Redeemer is The Holy of Israel,
known as God of the whole earth.

BTW: in case you didn't see the previous post, in it I included some specific prayer requests for all you prayer peeps. Thank you so much.

the wait draws to a close...

I got a call yesterday from my IVF nurse and she said we are ready to get started. Woo Hoo! Felipe and I will go in to the office next Tuesday for a sonogram (just to make sure the cyst is still shrinking and there's nothing new, we pray God). Then Felipe and I will meet with the nurse to go over all the details and for him to get a refresher course on giving his wife injections. :( Next Wednesday we will start the first medication. About a week later we will start the second medication which will be the "stimulation" phase of this process. The 2nd medication will stimulate the eggs in my ovaries to maturity. Wow, as I write all of this, I'm getting excited to just get started! I've done my best to prepare myself for the physical and emotional toll of "the process." And now, I'm just excited.

We need and would like your prayers as we go through this process. As I say often, we know we do not walk alone. I believe that prayer has sustained us over the last couple of years. I know God has been so gracious to us.

Here are a few specific things that we'd like prayer for:
1. That my body would continue to prepare for this process over the next 2 weeks: that my womb would grow stronger and that no cysts or endometrosis will grow and that what is there would diminish completely.
2. That Felipe and I be restful and not anxious during this time. That the peace of God would be in our hearts and minds. And that we would be very intentional about resting. Please pray for me that I would not stress.
3. That each step along the way be "successful." Each phase of the process prepares the way for the next, so we pray for my eggs to be strong, for life to concieve and then implant and remain in my uterus.
4. We call upon our Merciful Father and ask for life, for a baby... or two :) We would happily welcome twins.

Thank you all so much.

Take that you little cyst!!

For the last 2 weeks I've done everything I know to do to get rid of a cyst... seriously, it's been quite humorous! I've been to acupuncture and followed all their recommendations including: taking herbs, putting Castor oil on my belly while sitting with a heating pad, and rolling a rolling pin up my leg for 5 minutes 3 times a day. Along with that I've been praying and even went to theophostic prayer just for the cyst! And I'm still on the birth control pill. I guess when you've had this many cysts, you'll try it all right!? Though I still believe it's God alone who is the Healer.

And He is healing me. As of last Friday, the cyst has shrunk!! It's now small enough for us to get started with the In Vitro (IVF) process.

So, what the heck is IVF?
IVF is a 6-8 week process where they will remove mature eggs from my ovaries and fertilize them with sperm outside of the womb (in vitro), watch them develop over a couple of days and return them to my uterus. The process is quite strenous for us, especially for me physically. Technically, since I've already been on the birth control pills we have already started the process, since the first step is to supress the women's current cycle. In a couple of weeks (due to the IVF lab being closed for 2 weeks) I will start taking 2 daily injections of medicine (one to stimulate the growth of the eggs and one to keep my ovaries from releasing the eggs). When they are ready, I will take a different medication to "trigger" ovulation. Then the eggs will be surgically removed and fertilized. After a couple of days, the embryos will be returned to my uterus in hopes of implantation occuring.

If you'd like more info, please check out this site from the Texas Fertility Center: http://www.txfertility.com/ivf-program/overview.html If you look on the IVF/Advanced Options section, we are currently in the suppression phase.

The IVF nurse is currently making a "schedule" to follow and next week, she'll tell us when to start the injections. Please pray for us as we prepare for this process emotionally, physically and financially.

We feel much peace surrounding this next step. One day, while I was in prayer I saw a picture that gave me lots of comfort around this seemingly "sci-fi" procedure. I saw a row of petri dishes with little eggs in them. And I saw the Lord's hands over the dishes protecting them. I heard him say to my heart: "Trust me with My children. I bring life where I bring life and I don't bring life where I don't. Trust me." I know He is taking care of us and he will take care of His children.

Thank you everyone for your prayers.