Our story has been different from the ideal, that's for sure. Recently someone was telling me how they see that I am different because of going through this and that it is something that will mark my life forever. I responded to my friend and said, "I feel as though my heart has been branded." Literally, I imagine a metal branding iron, red-hot from being in the flames then being deeply pressed onto my heart, searing, smoking, burning, leaving a flesh wound that will scar. That scar I count as a small piece of the Cross; it's a piece of my glory. And I give thanks.
Also recently, I have been so encouraged by the saints. By you, the people around me.
A dear friend of mine from college just recently lost her little boy (whom she was 23 weeks pregnant with). She also spent years trying to conceive and this was her first child. I was unable to attend the memorial service but I just read her husband's speech on their blog. Throughout the entire speech, he gave glory to God and thanked our sweet Father for the life of his son. He recognized that the Father had sacrificed His only Son and he knew that God wept with them. They want to keep walking with God in the midst of deep deep pain. They want to say thank you and not grow bitter.
Last weekend I heard a woman share her story of losing her husband to a terrible long-term illness. Her daughters are in college and have left home. She is alone for the first time in 26 years. She gave honor to God and said how thankful she was for her husband's life. She said how she now wanted to honor the Lord in her singleness. She wants to keep walking with God. She wants to say thank you and not grow bitter.
I met another woman who shared with me that at her first child's dedication (she adopted 2 girls after not being able to conceive) she told the Lord that He had "fulfilled her barrenness." I saw on her face that she felt completely satisfied in the Lord. She still carried her scar. But she felt peace and joy. And she gave thanks and was not bitter.
Another friend of mine from college (who also has been trying to conceive for several years) has just gotten pregnant with triplets!!! That's right!!! It calls for 3 exclamation points each time!!!
It's amazing and yet could be very scary. She and her husband are rejoicing and giving thanks... and laughing with God for these little miracles.
I'm not sure why I'm sharing these things. These people have greatly encouraged me recently and I guess I just want to pay it forward. The gospel is real. Jesus is real. And He's coming back for us! Alleluia!
So, the next 2 weeks are our days to wait on the Lord, to pray for our little baby, and to trust in His goodness. We have 3 main requests that we ask you to pray.
1) That our little one would survive and be protected through the preparation process he has to go through.
2) That our little one would be guided by the Lord to the lining of my uterus and implant strongly. That he would get everything he needs from the Father to go through this process. And that my body would be prepared and do everything it needs to do to help him along.
3) That Felipe and I would get everything we need from the Father to joyfully walk this journey. That we wouldn't miss one thing He has for us.
Thank you dear friends. May we fall on His mercy to keep walking, give thanks, and not grow bitter.