The Amazing Aviator OWL!?

Lucas dressed up Saturday for the 3rd annual Mueller Halloween Carnival (well, his mommy went way overboard making a costume that he could care less about and then she put him in it!). It's here I'll give my thanks to Martha Stewart who creates many amazing crafty things that I get myself into but then regretfully realize that Martha doesn't read "Real Simple" Magazine. So, his costume took me at least 10 hours to make, but....

He was a very cute little owl!

And we as new parents delighted in seeing our little boy being so adorable. What is it about dressing kids up that brings us such joy? What drove me to spend 10 hours making a costume that he didn't want nor will he remember?! Oh well, it truly was delightful to see him in it!

Here's a few pictures of Lucas, the amazing aviator owl!

Getting ready...

The complete outfit!

At the carnival. Lucas, the Owl and Maximo, the bat! Maximo is one month older

than Lucas and lives down the street.

I think those cheeks will keep this little one on the ground!

Family shot.

Lucas and Mommy!

And one more time... the cutest owl that ever lived!

Adoption 101 for Friends and Family

Hi friends! It's been a long while since I've written. And today, I came across something that I wanted to share. A good friend of mine from college is going through the adoption process right now and she wrote a post on her blog that I thought was written very well. It answers many questions and gives a little insight into what we as newly adoptive parents are learning and how we are feeling. I hope to walk with many people as they go through the adoption process. Let us all be an encouragement to them :)

Tiffany's Post:
What You Wish Everyone Else Knew About Adoption

Today Trey and I completed the last of our mandatory trainings with our adoption agency. One of the activities was to complete questions in small groups that addressed some of the things we wish others knew about adoption. Answering these questions made me realize how much my perspective has changed over the course of the last year. I thought I'd post some of the insights shared today.

1. If there was one thing you could tell your extended family or friends about adoption, what would it be?

The consensus on this one was that open adoption is a GREAT thing! A child who is adopted will want to know his birthparents regardless if it is open or not. The opportunity to build this relationship is vital for the emotional health of the child. I know many adoptive parents have the initial fear that the birthmom will want to come back and get her baby, but this is extremely rare. It probably happens more in made for TV dramas, than in real life. It's even unheard of when the birthmom receives appropriate counseling.

2. What could friends/family have not said/said/done/ or not done....

a) during waiting?

-Please don't say, "Now you will get pregnant." Although this comment is so well intentioned, as an adoptive parent it feels as if you are stripping away the excitement, anticipation, and legitimacy of this baby as your newest family member. The underlying message it communicates is, "This is good, but there's something better." I know this is not what people mean to communicate, but the truth is we will not be lacking in any way if we don't have biological children. Plus, it's just not statistically true. Even though most people know of a friend of a friend this happened too, it's actually more the exception than the rule. At the same time, we believe God has the power to open and close a womb, so we rejoice when that happens, just as we would rejoice in a finalized adoption.

- Do share your excitement of your own pregnancies and children. If you are afraid your friend or family member going through the adoption process or infertility may be sensitive to something, talk with them about it. Allow your friend who is going through the adoption process to tell you if they are having a hard time and can't go to a shower or birthday party. Don't exclude them because you want to be sensitive to their emotions. Most of the time they are already struggling with the isolation that comes with infertility as more and more friends have children, so to not be invited to something in an effort to spare their feelings can just add to the pain of isolation. Now on a side note, if you you just want to invite families with kids to an event, that is perfectly acceptable and understandable too. :)

- Notes of encouragement. I know for us it's been really cool to receive little unexptected congratulation cards or emails acknowledging we are "expecting."

b)at the time of placement?

-Understand if there needs to be a little distance for a few days, but be available for support. We are learning that placement day is extremely emotional. Your greatest sense of joy comes that day at a great cost to the birthparents and their families. It's common for new adoptive parents to struggle with guilt as well. With these experiences, it's easy to feel emotionally depleted, and it may be hard to come home to a big celebration. We really don't know how we will feel. We don't know even know what we want. We want to protect those sacred first few days as a new family, but we also desire to share the celebration with others at the same time. Please bear with us in the beginning as we figure this out. (Leigh speaking here: since we've already gone through this, we know how we felt. Felipe and I were very excited to have our family and friends around. We enjoyed your company, your meals and your encouragement. And we loved having our parents at the hospital with us. Thank you all).

c) during the first 6 months after placement?

-Understand that the biggest need of the child is to bond with the adoptive parents. Our agency recommends only adoptive parents hold and feed the baby the first few weeks and that the baby be worn to foster attachment. For us personally, we may be a little protective in the beginning about others holding the baby. That doesn't mean you can't sit close to us and touch the baby. Know that in our hearts, we love the idea of family members and friends holding and loving on the baby. We just have to use our best judgement as to when it is best for this to start.

after finalization and beyond?

-Use the term birthparents," not "real" parents. Adoptive parents are the "real" parents. This is what makes adoption amazing and how it reflects our adoption into God's family through Christ. God is our real Father even though we are adopted into his family, and we are His real children. Even co-heirs with Christ. I have a feeling that truth is about to become more real.

- Allow adoptive children to initiate talking about adoption. Be sensitive to the fact that it is not a topic they always want to talk about so be careful of questions you pose or comments you make in their presence.

- Talk positively about birthparents. We can't stress this one enough. The decision to place a baby for adoption is often the hardest decision they will have to make in their life. Adoption is one of the most loving, sacrificial decisions a birthparent can make. We want everyone to know how much respect and love we have for our birthparents.

3) What would you want your family or friends to say or not say to others about your adoption?

-The most meaningful things that family members have said to us are: "We are so excited to love on this baby and can't wait to welcome them into the family." Our families are so supportive!!!

-We would love to hear, "I had never thought seriously about adoption, but now I'm considering it." Ok, we don't want to hear that from everyone. I know I was totally scared of domestic adoption until I heard someone else's story, so hopefully our story will help curb some fears others may have regarding adoption.

4)What would you want your family or friends to say or not say to your adopted child?

-Don't say, "Wow, you are really lucky to be adopted by them." I know you are really thinking, "They are the coolest people ever and I want them to be MY parents," but imagine this through the ears of the child. It could make them feel like a charity case, like they are lucky to be wanted. Besides, luck has nothing to do with how they come to be a part of our family.

-Don't say, "You look just like your adoptive parents." Most children who are adopted don't like to hear that (especially in their teens). This denies their uniqueness and diminishes the characteristics they share with their birthparents.

-Don't say, "Who are your REAL parents?" That would be us.

Like I said, I've learned a lot the past nine months since we started this process. If any of this was surprising to you, you are in good company. My intent in sharing this is not to make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around adoptive parents or feel the need to speak a certain way to be "politically correct." I just hope to give others a little understanding. We all need grace for the times we try to say something with good intentions, but it just all goes south the minute we open our mouth.

LUCAS... the virtual tour!

I wanted to add a couple of videos for the grandmas out there who have not met Lucas yet and the grandparents who don't get to see him very often! The videos are all kind of the same... I mean, he doesn't sing and dance yet. But him just being him is fabulous to see so here you have it:

And another:

One more:

And some new pictures! He's 2 months today!!!

Little sleeper!

There's that little grin!

This one is my favorite! He looks so cute!

Playing!

And we call this one "Lucas power!"

Life With Baby...

Is Different!!!

We are having such a good time with our little one AND our lives have been flipped over with lots of what we are calling "different"... not worse or bad, just "different".

Things that are different:

1. Efficiency feels not just different, but out of the realm of possibility! It used to take about 5 minutes to leave the house... lock doors, feed dog, close door, start car, etc. Now it takes over an hour! Feed baby, change baby, make bottles, pack diaper bag, fasten baby in car seat, feed dog (has the dog even been out today?), let dog out, put baby in car, close door, start car, go back in b/c inevitably forgot something baby will need, leave house! Whew! I have a feeling that my love for efficiency will be challenged from here on out. It may be years before I can leave the house in under 5 minutes again. What I'm really thinking is that efficiency is just getting redefined.

2. Home-life is different. I'm at home a lot more. I used to run around and not worry if I wasn't going to be home for hours. Now we leave in 2-3 hour increments. Most babies at this age are pretty mobile. Lucas is "different". I think he might just be an extrovert because if we are out and about, that little one is not sleeping! He's looking around and taking it all in. He could care less about sleeping no matter how hard you try. But then, sadly, he gets way overtired and it becomes painful for all involved :( When we get home, he's out like a light! So, I'm homebound. Which has it's perks and it's un-perks (being an extrovert myself).

3. Sleep looks WAY different! Though, last night I got my first 5 hour stretch since Lucas has arrived! It was magnificent!! Up until a few days ago, getting 4 hours of sleep was only in my imagination. I had mainly been getting 2-3 hour stretches at a time. But he hit a little growth spurt or something and now we are getting 3-4 and last night the amazing 5! Awww! He's growing up! Our sleep positions look differently too as you can see below. Keep that pacifier in at all cost!

4. My overall disposition seems different. Felipe gave me a few hours of "me" time the other day and I went to hang out with girlfriends. The whole time I was gone, I felt like something was missing... like an appendage or something. For 7 weeks now I've had this new little being attached to me and he was not there. It felt so strange to be without him. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was nice to have a few hours of "me" time, but it was strange. I feel different.

5. Our house looks different! There are many more bright colors in here and new pieces of furniture (the oh-so-glorious swing! what would I do without it?), toys, activity mats, etc! It looks different in here!

6. I feel differently toward my dog, which is weird. I love Jake, the dog, very much. But I feel like I used to love him more than I do now. Or maybe I've grown in love and the love I had for Jake now seems pale in comparison to the love I have for Lucas!? Is that too deep? :) Nevertheless, it's something I've noticed is different. Poor Jakey! He does get less attention from me than he did. But with all the visitors, he's not neglected.

7. Eating is different! I've learned to eat in under 5 minutes! And it might not be hot. Hot food is excellent, warm food is doable, cold food and I'd rather try again later.

8. Summertime is different. I feel like I'm missing it all together. It's just too hot to take him out. We tried walking one day last week and it's just too much. I'm so pale, you'd think it was winter. I do miss the pool and that summertime glow and highlighted hair. Next summer, I can't wait to meet you! Lucas, me and you and some sunblock!! It's gonna be great! Uh-oh, what if we have another one by then!? Just kidding. :) Maybe.

8. The middle of the night is different! I'm actually aware of it for one thing. It's quiet and peaceful and it's the time I get Lucas all to myself. It's also very hard. The other night as I drug myself out of bed at 2am I thought back to a time when I used to find it very difficult when parents would complain about their children... and about getting up in the middle of the night with them. I would think to myself, "I'd give my left arm for those 2 am feedings." And I would have. Though today, I have more compassion for parents around the world getting up in the middle of the night. It is very hard to go without sleep. Though, it's worth a left arm if you have to give that! I'm thankful I didn't. And I'm thankful for my middle of the nights with Lucas.

All this DIFFERENT... is totally priceless in my book. I'll end with some pictures, as I know that's what everyone is waiting for! He is adorable I tell ya! Man, I'm so in love.

This morning, doing a little stretching.

Playing with Daddy last night. He's smiling daily now!

It's so amazing to see that little face light up!

Jake likes to play on the tummy-time blanket too! He actually brings Lucas his toy every morning, which is what he does when he wants you to play with him! Someday!

Look at that face!

His stunned or "I'm so tired I can't think" look.

He loved mirror time with Gran-Lilly! He misses Gran-Lilly!

Little chipmunk sittin' on those cheeks!

Lucas' birth story...

On his one month birthday, I thought I'd share how our little miracle came into the world. (For those of you who haven't heard this story).

As some may remember, Lucas' birthmom was due to be induced on June 2nd, but on the morning of the 1st (Felipe's birthday), we got a phone call that birthmom was headed to her doctor's office b/c she was having contractions. We were planning a brunch with our family (Felipe's mom, my mom, my sister, dad and step-mom). A little later we got another phone call informing us that birthmom was already dilated 5cm, was in active labor and was headed to the hospital. Felipe and I didn't make it to brunch :) We were so excited because we, along with some friends, had been praying that she would go into labor naturally and not have to be induced. We arrived at the hospital not long after birthmom and her sister. Our friend who connected us also met us there. When we went in to meet birthmom, she was in seriously active labor and had not had her epidural yet. She had dilated to 7cm and labor was moving along quickly. So, we met her between contractions, which had to be intense for her. But she said it was what she wanted. She was glad we were there and wanted us to stay with her. When we all first laid eyes on each other, we all cried and quickly felt more at ease. I have to say it was one of the most awkward moments, yet quickly became very natural. It felt so organic and right that we were all together for this most awesome event in all of our lives. I got to be next to her and hold her hand through contractions. I wanted so badly to be able to take the pain for her. Not in a jealous way, but in an, I-wish-you-didn't-have-to-go-through-this way. She was so sweet and wonderful to Felipe and I. She even wanted to meet our moms. After she got the epidural of course :)

When our moms walked in, she immediately commented on a necklace that Felipe's mom was wearing. It was a piece from Jerusalem. Rita quickly took the necklace off and said, "Well then, you should have it." Side story: a few days before we learned about Lucas and his birthmom, Rita was in Israel. She went to Shiloh, the place where Hannah prayed for a son and was given Samuel. At Shiloh, Rita prayed for the Lord to remember Felipe and I and give us a child. She was wearing that same necklace when she was there praying for us. So, it felt completely right for our birthmom to have the necklace.

We were with her all the way through delivery, along with her mom and sister and our friend who connected us. I was holding her hand as our son was born. Lucas was born at 2:36pm on a Tuesday. Felipe and I immediately followed the baby as he was being cared for by the nurses and our friend and the sister attended to the birthmom. I quickly texted one of our parents, who were waiting anxiously across the hall... "He's perfect!" That's how they learned he was a boy.

We, birthmom and us, were all together in the room for about 2 hours after the baby was born. Birthmom wanted me to hold the baby. I took him over to her and told her his name is Lucas. We got to pray together and assure her that Lucas would always know who she was and what she had done for him... that she had given him life, given him to adoption in love and hope. His little life is not filled with rejection and shame... but with love, hope and redemption. And she is a huge part of that.

After a couple of hours, the nurses took us to our own hospital room with Lucas, where I was able to nurse him for the first time. Lucas had to remain in the hospital for 48 hours. We gave our birthmom an open invitation to come and visit us and him anytime while we were there. She came to visit twice and even brought him a gift... a keepsake that had been passed down in her family from her grandfather, to her mother, to her and now to Lucas. Every time she saw him, she just stared at him and smiled. And on our last day there, we stopped by our friend's house to return something that had been left at the hospital and we saw our birthmom there again. She had her son with her that day and we got to meet her 2 year old. I got to hold him and even got a picture. He's a precious little boy.

I wanted to share this story because I feel like it may encourage someone out there. And I like the story... it's full of love. God's presence was experienced in all of us. And Lucas has brought hope into the world for me. Hope fulfilled. My heart is healing. Throughout the entire experience, I felt no loss, no jealousy, no sadness for what was Not. I only felt gain and love.

Court Hearings and Photo Shoots!!

What an exciting life we live! Lucas is now 3 weeks old, is perfect and is officially our son!! He's been sleeping in his swing for the last hour and is now stirring to make his presence known. This is already the second attempt I've made at this blog post... now going to turn into needing a 3rd :) I find that that's my new thing... having to make 2nd, 3rd and sometimes 4th attempts to complete a task that used to take 15 minutes! God bless you efficient moms out there :) I'm working on it.

So, we have awesome news! On Monday, Felipe flew to Arkansas to go to court on our behalf. Normally, all three of us would have had to appear in court but we got permission from the judge for just Felipe to go. I love kindness! On Tuesday morning, Felipe and our lawyer went to court and at the end of the hearing, all parental rights had been switched over to us. He said, "It is now in the best interest of this child to become the natural child of Felipe and Leigh Adams!" Part of me wished I had been there to hear it! But I have it in writing :) There is a standard 6-month waiting period for the adoption to be absolutely final. Our finalization date... December 25, 2010!!! Birthday and Christmas!! We love it! This will now go down in history as our favorite Christmas Ever!!!

Look at our little gift!

Lucas had his first photo shoot with Shelly Hoffman (our awesome neighbor and photographer extraordinaire!) See some of her pics at shellyhoffmanphotography.blogspot.com. She was kind enough to come over and snap a few shots of our little guy.

That little face!

Fun, name-train set and hand knitted blankie he got from Nena Rita, who has a soft spot for Little Lucas!

So sweet! Isn't he gorgeous!?

The song, "What a Mighty God We Serve" has been going over and over in my head as I write this blog. God has been so good to us. He has taken away our mourning and given us joy! Lucas means "Bringer of Light" and that's exactly what he has done! We give thanks and rejoice.

Lucas' first week!

Here are a few pics of the first few days with our little boy! Oh my goodness, he's cute!

Sleepy Sleepy...

This one is after a little sponge bath!

It has been amazing! We just love him so much. He has entertained us for hours... in the hours of the wee mornin' I might add :)

He's been to his first pediatrician appointment (doing great!) and tomorrow he gets circumsized. Felipe and I went on our first date without baby today. We read that in a book that you should do that within the first 10 days!

I'll try to write more later. For now, we are adjusting to life with a new family member and our roles as mom and dad. Thanks everyone for all your love and support!