Lucas' birth story...

On his one month birthday, I thought I'd share how our little miracle came into the world. (For those of you who haven't heard this story).

As some may remember, Lucas' birthmom was due to be induced on June 2nd, but on the morning of the 1st (Felipe's birthday), we got a phone call that birthmom was headed to her doctor's office b/c she was having contractions. We were planning a brunch with our family (Felipe's mom, my mom, my sister, dad and step-mom). A little later we got another phone call informing us that birthmom was already dilated 5cm, was in active labor and was headed to the hospital. Felipe and I didn't make it to brunch :) We were so excited because we, along with some friends, had been praying that she would go into labor naturally and not have to be induced. We arrived at the hospital not long after birthmom and her sister. Our friend who connected us also met us there. When we went in to meet birthmom, she was in seriously active labor and had not had her epidural yet. She had dilated to 7cm and labor was moving along quickly. So, we met her between contractions, which had to be intense for her. But she said it was what she wanted. She was glad we were there and wanted us to stay with her. When we all first laid eyes on each other, we all cried and quickly felt more at ease. I have to say it was one of the most awkward moments, yet quickly became very natural. It felt so organic and right that we were all together for this most awesome event in all of our lives. I got to be next to her and hold her hand through contractions. I wanted so badly to be able to take the pain for her. Not in a jealous way, but in an, I-wish-you-didn't-have-to-go-through-this way. She was so sweet and wonderful to Felipe and I. She even wanted to meet our moms. After she got the epidural of course :)

When our moms walked in, she immediately commented on a necklace that Felipe's mom was wearing. It was a piece from Jerusalem. Rita quickly took the necklace off and said, "Well then, you should have it." Side story: a few days before we learned about Lucas and his birthmom, Rita was in Israel. She went to Shiloh, the place where Hannah prayed for a son and was given Samuel. At Shiloh, Rita prayed for the Lord to remember Felipe and I and give us a child. She was wearing that same necklace when she was there praying for us. So, it felt completely right for our birthmom to have the necklace.

We were with her all the way through delivery, along with her mom and sister and our friend who connected us. I was holding her hand as our son was born. Lucas was born at 2:36pm on a Tuesday. Felipe and I immediately followed the baby as he was being cared for by the nurses and our friend and the sister attended to the birthmom. I quickly texted one of our parents, who were waiting anxiously across the hall... "He's perfect!" That's how they learned he was a boy.

We, birthmom and us, were all together in the room for about 2 hours after the baby was born. Birthmom wanted me to hold the baby. I took him over to her and told her his name is Lucas. We got to pray together and assure her that Lucas would always know who she was and what she had done for him... that she had given him life, given him to adoption in love and hope. His little life is not filled with rejection and shame... but with love, hope and redemption. And she is a huge part of that.

After a couple of hours, the nurses took us to our own hospital room with Lucas, where I was able to nurse him for the first time. Lucas had to remain in the hospital for 48 hours. We gave our birthmom an open invitation to come and visit us and him anytime while we were there. She came to visit twice and even brought him a gift... a keepsake that had been passed down in her family from her grandfather, to her mother, to her and now to Lucas. Every time she saw him, she just stared at him and smiled. And on our last day there, we stopped by our friend's house to return something that had been left at the hospital and we saw our birthmom there again. She had her son with her that day and we got to meet her 2 year old. I got to hold him and even got a picture. He's a precious little boy.

I wanted to share this story because I feel like it may encourage someone out there. And I like the story... it's full of love. God's presence was experienced in all of us. And Lucas has brought hope into the world for me. Hope fulfilled. My heart is healing. Throughout the entire experience, I felt no loss, no jealousy, no sadness for what was Not. I only felt gain and love.

Court Hearings and Photo Shoots!!

What an exciting life we live! Lucas is now 3 weeks old, is perfect and is officially our son!! He's been sleeping in his swing for the last hour and is now stirring to make his presence known. This is already the second attempt I've made at this blog post... now going to turn into needing a 3rd :) I find that that's my new thing... having to make 2nd, 3rd and sometimes 4th attempts to complete a task that used to take 15 minutes! God bless you efficient moms out there :) I'm working on it.

So, we have awesome news! On Monday, Felipe flew to Arkansas to go to court on our behalf. Normally, all three of us would have had to appear in court but we got permission from the judge for just Felipe to go. I love kindness! On Tuesday morning, Felipe and our lawyer went to court and at the end of the hearing, all parental rights had been switched over to us. He said, "It is now in the best interest of this child to become the natural child of Felipe and Leigh Adams!" Part of me wished I had been there to hear it! But I have it in writing :) There is a standard 6-month waiting period for the adoption to be absolutely final. Our finalization date... December 25, 2010!!! Birthday and Christmas!! We love it! This will now go down in history as our favorite Christmas Ever!!!

Look at our little gift!

Lucas had his first photo shoot with Shelly Hoffman (our awesome neighbor and photographer extraordinaire!) See some of her pics at shellyhoffmanphotography.blogspot.com. She was kind enough to come over and snap a few shots of our little guy.

That little face!

Fun, name-train set and hand knitted blankie he got from Nena Rita, who has a soft spot for Little Lucas!

So sweet! Isn't he gorgeous!?

The song, "What a Mighty God We Serve" has been going over and over in my head as I write this blog. God has been so good to us. He has taken away our mourning and given us joy! Lucas means "Bringer of Light" and that's exactly what he has done! We give thanks and rejoice.

INTRODUCING....

LUCAS EDWARD BESSO ADAMS

BORN JUNE 1, 2010 AT 2:36p.m.

Lucas is doing so well! He was 6lbs 12 oz and sizes in at 18 1/2 inches! He is gorgeous. Sleeping and eating very well. Felipe and I both were in the delivery room to see our son be born. It was amazing. Please pray for Little Lucas, for us his new parents and for his birth mom. She will forever be a heroine in our hearts. It has been a most holy day in our lives. God is good!

I'll write more later, but wanted to get a couple of pictures out. Thank you all.

We made it!!!

And we drove through Cherokee Nation!

We drove in yesterday to northern Arkansas and it is gorgeous. Being an Arkansas native myself, I've been here before, but it's been a long time. And I had forgotten how beautiful it really is. We're going hiking today to see what's really out there. We have been so excited about getting here that we really didn't think through what we would do once we got here. So, it's been a bit anti-climatic! We're just waiting around. We've been to the Western Sizzlin' and Shoneys! Ahhh... I feel at home! It's a holiday weekend and there are tons of bikers everywhere! There are several tourist towns around so we're going to do some sight seeing and eat all the country goodness we can stand! I'll update more soon.

We leave tomorrow!!!

Hi friends! I just wanted to write a little update and let you know we are leaving town tomorrow to go and be there for the baby's birth! Felipe, his mom and I are leaving around 2pm and we'll arrive at our destination on Saturday. We decided to split up the drive so that we wouldn't be so tired (thanks mom and dad for the advice!:) My mom will come and join us on Sunday. I can't believe it's finally time to go.

Our birthmom is set to be induced on Tuesday or Wednesday (depending on the dr.'s schedule). As far as we've heard, she is doing well and all is going according to plan. We look forward with great anticipation to meeting this woman who has so much of our love and admiration.

So, in just a few more days time, I'll have lots more info to share and hopefully a few pictures! We cannot thank you all enough for helping us get to this day. Many of you have walked with us for years in prayer and friendship. I have tears of gratitude.

I ask you once again to join us in prayer:

1) for God to prepare our hearts for whatever is next. This adoption is not a done deal and we ask for God's grace to be with us as we walk forward.

2) for health and safety for our birthmom and the baby!

3) for protection and divine guidance as we travel. You never know what you might come across on the road! I love road trips.

4). for my milk to come in!! That's right, my doctor and a lactation consultant have been working with me to induce lactation. And it's working! The doctor has said that it's the #1 thing we could do right now to treat my endometriosis. So, I've been taking medication and herbs and started pumping a few days ago. Please pray for a full milk supply (which is rare but possible for adoptive moms). This is a dream come true for me!

Thank you all so much. We'll be in touch.

100% ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

100% of our goal has been reached!!!!!

We received a gift today that put us over the top in what we needed!!! Thank you Lord, for you are our provider! And thank you friends for sharing in this amazing journey with us! I'll share more soon :)

I just had to put that last thermometer up!!

NESTING!!!

Well, hello friends!

Our birth mom is being induced 3 weeks from today!!! All this is happening so fast and then again, the baby just can't come fast enough. I don't know how everyone waits 9 months! Then again, I know a little of what waiting feels like. So, today, I celebrate. If all goes as planned, we'll have our little one in 21 days.

And... I'm in full-on NESTING mode...

Flower beds newly mulched and without weeds... Check!

Crib put together... Check!

I put that teddy bear in there to see if I could reach the baby :) It's a stretch, but I think I can. We might have to take the legs off the bed! The crib was a gift from Felipe's parents and the glider was a gift from our neighbors. Thanks!!

Cleaned the fabric on my most recent (most awesome) Craigslist purchase... Check!

Love the new Bugaboo stroller... it comes with the toddler seat too and the car seat attachment!! One stroller that does it all!! We'll have it forever and we got it for a less than 1/3 of the price!! But I might just have to put some pink on it if it's a girl!

Washed the newborn clothes I got from my sister-in-law... Check!

Thanks Debs!

Is it a boy?

Or a girl?

Organized baby's first book... Check!

Isn't that fun!? We also just got our home study completed and I'm mailing it to the lawyer today... along with copies of everything you ever wanted to know about Leigh and Felipe! From our diplomas, to our birth certificates to our dog's vaccinations... you name it, it's in that package!

Today, we remain at 89% of our financial goal! Only $1300 to go!! It's truly amazing to watch how the Lord is providing through you our community. If you're planning on giving, now's the time. Just yesterday, Felipe took some checks to the bank to deposit. Apparently, the same girl has been there for each time he's made deposits of adoption money (with "adoption" written in the memo). So, yesterday she mentioned it and said how she loved what we were doing and thanked us for adopting :) She said she wanted to see pictures of the baby! I love that this story is touching so many people. Thank you all for being involved the way you have been. And thank you for your prayers for us, for our birth mom and for the baby! I wrote her another letter last week. I love the growing relationship that we have.

Several people have asked what we need. Thank you for asking. For now, I think we have everything needed to get us started minus the car seat, which I'm getting next week. A shower is being planned for after we get home with the baby and I've registered at Buy Buy Baby and ThethingsIwant.com. (I'm using cloth diapers. Those and accessories listed there). So stay tuned! By the way, if you look at the BBB registry right now, it's a bit overwhelming b/c I registered for boy stuff and girl stuff. I knew I wouldn't have time to go back after the baby comes, so I'll delete one half of it over the internet after baby comes :)

Thanks everyone!

I just learned of a new day...

There's a day on our calendar that I've never heard of before. My guess is that most of us never have. It's Birthmother's Day, which falls on the Saturday before Mother's Day. I just heard about it from my friend who is adopting as well. (Tiff, your pic was so cute, I had to steal it!) Then I learned on the internet that Birthmother's Day is a day that was created by a group of birthmothers in Seattle in 1990.

As Felipe and I walk forward, we are learning that we (and many other people) have had many misconceptions about birthmothers. And I have to say that as we first stepped into domestic adoption, "open adoption" was the thing that scared us the most. However, as we learn more and now as we are in relationship with an actual woman who is carrying a baby that we may parent... things have changed.

Here are the misconceptions we've come across and had to deal with in our own hearts: #1-She doesn't love her baby. She must not care b/c she's giving it away. #2: I think for most of us it's easy to vilify her and put her in the "bad person" category in our minds. She wouldn't be a good parent anyway.

How wrong we've all been. In actuality, I've now come to see our birth mom as one of the bravest women on the planet. We've now written a couple of letters and the thing that shines through the most in her writing is how much she loves this baby... And what a beautiful person she is. I won't list specifics in how I see this, so you'll just have to take my word for it. She's beautiful... and I've never seen what she looks like :) I see how she is trying to do the best thing she can for her child... to give them a hope and a future. I see the heart of God in her. She is sacrificing herself for her child.

So, this coming Saturday, my glass will be raised to birthmothers across the globe and to a particular one that I've come to love deeply. It's amazing how I see my heart being knitted together with this special woman. I think it's the beginning of something so amazing, so mysterious. I think I'm learning Love on a new level. Isn't that what parenthood does?

Bless you friends who have given to our fund and who have prayed us into this place! Please forgive us for not responding immediately and individually to each one of you. We will. We are "nesting" and "adopting" both of which require lots of work. Our home is currently in disarray as every room has been rearranged in order to make a guest room a baby's room. The baby is due 4 weeks from tomorrow! We are currently at 82% of our goal! Only $2,186 to go!!! I'll write more soon about all the miracles we've seen along the way! We feel so much love in our hearts!

A baby in six weeks!! What?

Yup, this is a crazy story! I've been waiting to update the blog until we knew a little more and had some elements set in stone. So, here is what's been happening in Feleighpe's road to parenthood...

We have been accepted by the agency and were set to attend their orientation on April 30th. We started fundraising! Two weeks ago, we got a call from a friend of a friend who lives in another state. She knew a girl who wanted to give her baby to adoption and she had told this girl about us. A week and a half ago, the girl told our friend that she wants to give her baby to the girl in Texas! We have since talked in depth with our friend about this girl and as it stands we are all going forward. She wants to give her baby to us! She is due in early June!!! Yup, 6 weeks from now, we could have a baby!

The last 2 weeks have been full of emotion, scurrying, and busyness! Since this adoption is not through an agency, the process is quite a bit different, and quite a bit less expensive. I have written our birth mom a letter and she has received it. We have a home study started, we have a lawyer, we painted the baby's room, I'm gathering newborn supplies from friends and family (as a shower will have to wait until after baby comes), and we are still raising funds for the adoption.

Our total cost for the adoption is now $12,000 instead of $24,000!!! This is great news. We are currently at 40% of our goal! Meaning that we still need to raise $7,200! This is amazing and we are praising the Lord for what He is doing. Would you please consider giving to our adoption fund? Every little bit helps. If 100 people give $25 each, that's $2500 putting us much closer to being able to go forward!

Thanks so much everyone for cheering us on, for praying for us and for giving to our family! It's amazing!

Here are a few more details for you folks that love details :) We don't know if it's a boy or a girl and we will be surprised at birth! Our birth mom is set to be induced so we will travel to where she is and be there at the hospital for the birth. I don't know yet if we will meet her. Yes, we are freaking out a little (this is an 8-week pregnancy for us!) We are also ecstatic and cautious about going forward. Adoption isn't over until it's over. Daily, I'm praying for our birth mom and the baby. But I simply cannot pray that she'll give her baby to us. Right now, this is her baby. I'm praying for God's will to be done for her, for the baby, and for us. Holy Spirit, intercede on our behalf. We need You. The birth mother seems confident in her decision and she made it months ago. But, you just never know. Please join us in praying for everyone involved, especially for the baby. We would love to know and raise this little one!

Thanks friends. With love and hope...

A Post I Never Published

This was written on April 10, 2010 (a year ago)

I went to the doctor on Tuesday and we have good news! My endometriosis has not grown in the last 4 months! This is a small miracle considering that I've been doing nothing (medically)to treat it. Most of the time, if I'm not treating it, it's growing. So, praise the Lord! This is incredible news for us. It's so tiring trying this treatment and that treatment and changing the hormones in my body every few months. Felipe has never known me without it... so maybe now he's getting to know the real me :). I joke, "maybe I'm not sooo moody!" When I saw the doctor, he asked how I was doing. I said, "Well, I'm only taking one medicine (for thyroid) and I haven't seen you in 4 months! I'm doing great!" He smiled. And on top of that, physically, I feel really good. I still have one ovarian cyst and one small fibroid (tumor), but for now, they are nothing to worry about.

When we finished fertility treatments, I thought it was totally over. But when we went to the doctor in December and found that endometriosis had returned and cysts were growing, it was very disheartening. I look forward to a day without doctors.

I find it completely amazing how my heart has changed through this process. There has to be a God! I mean, we've always wanted to adopt, regardless of what happened. But I didn't know how I would feel if we weren't able to have a baby. I'm the girl who used to follow pregnant women and get lost from my mom in the store. I wanted to be a doula (a birthing assistant), I wanted natural childbirth and the whole nine yards. I actually wanted pregnancy as much as a baby. But, in the surrender of it all, something amazing has happened. I still get that glowing feeling when I see a pregnant girl, but I don't feel the deep pain that I once did. I don't feel envy anymore. I was in a baby store the other day and asked a girl for help in the stroller aisle. Side note: seriously, how many strollers does one person need!? For crying out loud... why are there so many to choose from? I felt so overwhelmed like I do in the tooth paste aisle! Girl at Buy Buy Baby was very helpful. She asked me how old my baby was. I told her with all the giddy-ness I have that I'm adopting!! I feel pregnant, but I'm not nauseas or bloated! Another side note: people used to say things like that to me about adopting... well if you adopt, you won't have to go through birth and all the bad things. Just FYI: only I can say things like that. It's like you can say something about you being overweight, but your friend just shouldn't :) And timing is everything. My heart had to get there. And today, I can look on that side of this.

Walking through the journey of infertility is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, even if I believed in the whole hate-your-enemy-thing. Felipe and I know a pain that I never knew existed. And we are learning the secret of contentment in it. I believe it comes from thankfulness. Now don't get me wrong, I had some shaking my fist at God, cursing him and yelling at Him moments. I was devastated. Yet, in the quiet, when I could force my will, in my darkest hours, through my sobs, I thanked Him. His word tells us to give thanks in ALL things. So, I thanked him for endometriosis. I thanked him for each day we didn't have a baby, for when we got to go on a bike ride without getting a babysitter, for sleeping in, for the pain, for the loss, for our embryos, for our friends and family, and for His sacrifice for us. I thanked Him for the joy I knew would come in the morning... or is it mourning.

Adams' Family Adoption Fundraiser begins...

It's official! We are adopting a baby! Soon!

Here's the scoop:

We have chosen an agency in San Antonio: Abrazo Adoption Associates. We will attend their orientation/training on April 30-May1. On May 11th, we will turn in our paperwork and give them a deposit. Within days (but probably months) we could be matched with a birth mom and be bringing home baby!

We are raising funds for our adoption and we need $24,0o0 by May 11th!

Wow, right!?

If you'd like to donate, you can do that in 1 of 2 ways:

1. Click on the Donate button on the top left of the blog homepage and give with your credit card through our PayPal account.

2. Mail a check (made out to Leigh and Felipe Adams) to our home address: (deleted for now)

I'll be blogging a lot (hopefully) throughout the process so stay tuned for more info. We will be having several fundraising events, so stay tuned for that as well.

For now, here are some answers to FAQ's:

1. What’s all the money for? Why is it so expensive?

Well, in short, adoption is a business. Here is a list broken down: the orientation/training cost, the application fee, the home study, the agency fee (the agency will put hours and hours of work into our lives and into the lives of our birth mom and our baby), the medical costs and assistance to the birth mom (for the most part, the typical birth mom giving her child to adoption has little to no support system and the agency does a lot to help her through this time of crisis in her life), and several different types of legal fees. I’ve come to feel that this is a business that we as Christians should be a part of… whether the numbers sound astronomical or tiny… we need to be in there. And as a community, we can do this. We can adopt babies. Think of it this way… if 240 people give $100, we’re done!

2. When will you get a baby?

The average wait with our agency is 6-12 months. Though, it’s possible to be matched with a birth mom within days of turning in all paperwork and money. She will be at least 7 months pregnant when we get matched with her. So, we don’t really know is the answer.

3. Will you meet and get to know the birth mom?

Hopefully. That’s up to her. We would like to. We are learning a lot about this. Adoption has taken a turn in the last 25 years from mystery and unknowns into a place of honesty and truth. We like that and hope that our child will benefit from it. I'll write more about this later.

4. Do you get to choose boy or girl?

We could. But we are not going to. You didn't get to choose! And God will give us exactly what we need :)

5. International or Domestic?

It's probably clear by now, but domestic. Probably a good ol' Texas baby!! For our first baby, we want the whole experience of a newborn. And we have a heart to bless girls in crisis pregnancies. All that to say, we are growing to love adoption in any form. But for now, we'll be sticking close to home.

6. So, will you get the baby from the hospital?

That's our hope. There are a lot of factors involved with parental rights of both the birth mother and father. As long as they are in agreement to give their child to adoption, then yes, that's usually how it goes.

I'll write more later! Please pray for us and our little one! He or she is probably a little bean already! And please pray for our birth mom and dad. We all need it! Thanks everyone for lovin' on us!

guess what we did yesterday?!!!...

We mailed off our property taxes!

Well, that, and our application to an adoption agency!

Whoo Hoo!

Yup, we are getting started! It's a new season. I completed all the paper work and printed out our pictures as you can see below. What we mailed off is really just the application for the application. We have to get pre-approved by the agency first before they'll let us really start the process. But step number one is completed. If they accept us, we'll go to an orientation in February and then an all day training in March. If all goes well, all of our application process should be done by the summer and we'll be waiting for a birth mom to pick us! Pretty cool.

Fun, huh?!

As you may guess, a lot has been happening in our hearts.

So, what brought us from the last blog post to this one?

After learning that we lost the baby in November, we knew that our journey of fertility treatments was over. To be honest, there was a big sigh of relief. Not a relief to not be pregnant, but a relief that this leg of the journey was over. I felt a huge weight lift off of me. And we grieved.. We were so sad to lose the baby. And to face the fact that our efforts had failed. We would not be conceiving right now.

God has been near. There has been peace in the heart ache. And time has been a balm for our hearts. Over Advent, I began working on a scrapbook of our infertility journey. I'm putting together a collection of all journal entries (beginning with my first journal entry about an ovarian cyst found in 2005), all pictures, cards, emails and notes, and all the blog entries. The scrapbook feels like a book-end to this chapter. Let me tell you though, that we don't feel like the book is finished. Just this chapter of medical treatments.

I can't thank you all enough for praying for us, making us meals, writing us encouraging words, and crying with us. We have felt really supported by our community. We will treasure this time in our hearts forever. I don't want to forget the depths. Though, in my heart something new... a release... a surrender... a new peace has been found. I still ache. But I'm ready to move on. We are ready to move on. We have been praying for weeks about what that would look like.

We have known that adoption was in our future. And lately, God is stirring up something new as well.

Last Sunday, we went to a church to hear Lou Engle, a man who travels the country educating Christians and praying for revival in America. He is a faith-filled man who believes his prayers will come to be. He said he believes that the Church is walking into a new wave of adopting children and helping girls who are in a crisis pregnancy. As he spoke, Felipe and I both felt God moving our hearts. And he gave us a new vision. I knew that there were people in the room feeling the same way we were. I went up to the pastor and asked him to ask the people who felt moved toward adoption to come talk to us. He did... and 27 people (13 families) responded! After the service we got to have a short impromptu meeting with these 13 families about adoption. I'm now staying connected with them as a networker of sorts. My hope is that no one would walk alone down this road. Who knows where this will lead? Pray for us!

We'll keep you updated. And as always, we would appreciate your prayers. And if you know of anyone else considering adoption for the first time, send them our way. We'd love to connect to them.